Are you interested in Swinging, but aren’t sure how to approach your wife about trying it?
This is an extremely delicate matter, so it’s best to approach your
wife by putting yourself in her shoes. Go into the conversation hoping
to succeed in your efforts, but do not get upset or frustrated at your
woman if she is not interested right away. Opening her mind to the idea
of swinging is the first step in the process. Once she’s had a chance to
think on it she’ll likely come to you with questions and intrigue. If
this is not the outcome of your conversation be prepared for her to
wonder if you will be unfaithful. Understanding what swinging really
means may set her mind, and heart, at ease from this concern. Swinging
promotes monogamy in the love between both partners, but opens the
sexual activity up to others outside the relationship.
There are many ways swinging can enhance
and improve a relationship, but first you must evaluate if your
relationship is strong enough already to support being in the lifestyle.
Swinging is not a fix for a bad relationship and will in fact destroy
it. So be aware of the pros and cons of introducing swinging into your
relationship.
PRO: Swinging can bring a couple closer together. Swinging involves a
high degree of communication between both partners. You should
constantly be checking in with each other and staying connected. Every
experience is different and comfort levels can wax and wane. Stay
involved in your partner’s activities (even when not physically
involved). Make certain she is enjoying herself and has control of the
situation.
CON: Swinging involves a high degree of communication. If you and
your wife are not already use to communicating this much, swinging will
pose an issue for you. Forcing involvement can make her feel smothered
and as though you are trying to control her. This type of connection
must be natural and flow effortlessly.
PRO: You may notice your trust and honesty reach new levels,
rediscover why you fell in love with each other and find a greater sense
of pleasure in the bedroom.
CON: In the beginning there may be jealousy issues to overcome. This
can be tough for anyone, but remember to continue communicating, and
always be considerate and understanding if your wife feels this way. In
your own ways, reassure her fears and take things slowly. Let her take
the lead, and dictate the speed at which you proceed.
PRO: You may discover new sexual experiences and techniques that you
both can use in your own bedroom. Opening your sexual activity up to
other people will certainly introduce you to new ideas and techniques
you’ve never experienced before. This is an opportunity for you to find
new and exciting ways of pleasuring each other during your own playtime.
CON: You may discover you are not as interested in swinging as you’d
originally thought, but your wife is! The lifestyle is such that women
are truly in control of the whole ballgame. Generally, women have the
final say on whom you play with, when you play and what you do with your
playmates. So be careful what you wish for!
Make sure this process is a give and take. Discuss openly your
desires and interests and find out if she has any unfulfilled fantasies.
Agree to satisfy her sexual curiosities in exchange, and that it would
be your pleasure to do so. Be open-minded! If she is willing to open up
to you then be supportive, not judgmental. Consider that what you’re
asking her for may be a bit out of her comfort zone just as her
fantasies may be outside of yours.
Setting rules and boundaries is imperative for all swingers.
Determine prior to any activity what you are both interested in, what
potential playmates you may be looking for and how you’d like to find
and meet other swingers.
There are many ways to find and meet other swingers with similar interests. Swing publications have all but become a thing of the past, as swinger sites
are becoming a popular choice for locating like-minded swingers. On
Muah.com, you can set up a free profile and instantly begin searching
through thousands of swingers based on niche criteria. Here you can also
find local events and parties, chat with other members in the live
video chat room and talk to other swingers that are always happy to
share their stories or give advice to newbies. Local swing clubs or
organizations are another great way to get involved in the lifestyle and
meet other swingers. Most clubs will
host private parties or events, however the price of admission may be
steep for first-timers. Also consider the type of event as on-premise
clubs and parties will involve sex on-site, albeit in a private or
semi-private room. Ascertain whether or not your wife is ready for this
because the initial shock could set her back. Predominantly, swinger parties
are off-premise (no sex on-site) and are a wonder catalyst for
socializing and meeting new friends. They are no-pressure, fun events
and most swingers will tell you the social aspects of being in the lifestyle is equally as rewarding as the sexual pleasures.
Make sure she is involved in the search for potential playmates and
in planning your “first date.” Nudge her to take the reigns and direct
you to couples, or singles, she may be interested in. Introduce her to
the scenario you are interested in by watching pornos together, perhaps
of threesomes, gangbangs or group sex. This will get her initial shock
of the unexpected out of the way, and it’s likely she’ll be able to
visualize herself in a similar scenario. Another way of “testing the
waters” is to take a vacation to an adult resort, such as Desire or Hedonism.
There you can both relax; sit frozen drinks and lay around in the sun
(with little to no clothing) in a sexually charged environment. Here you
have the potential for something to happen without the pressure or
obligation….and hey, who couldn’t use a tropical vacation! Again, be
sure she is 100% aware of what to expect!
However you and your wife decide to explore the lifestyle, always
remember to keep your relationship first and foremost. She may not warm
up to swinging all at one, so be patient with your wife, and don’t force
the lifestyle. Half the fun is starting out and talking about your
desires with each other, and if you find that swinging isn’t for you at
least you’ve opened the door to other fantasies you can explore
together.