Monday, December 16, 2013

How to Enjoy No Strings Attached Fun

No strings attached sex is a good option for many people. Those who travel heavily may enjoy this because they are free to come and go as they need without having to try to maintain a relationship. Others just may not want a relationship, but still have desires that need to be fulfilled. If you are looking for no strings fun, here are a few things to keep in mind.

Regular Encounters
Having a person you can see on a regular basis will be great if you want to have fun without a relationship. However, having a regular NSA partner can lead to developing feelings over time. To avoid this, be very clear with the rules before you start seeing each other. Avoid dating situations that can cross boundaries. Going out to dinner and a movie isn’t the best idea. Grabbing dinner is okay as long as it isn’t romantic.

Finding Partners
You can find partners who are up for NSA fun by going online. There are plenty of adult dating sites and forums that will be able to help you find others who are looking for the same thing. Just be clear in your profile of what your expectations are to avoid any complications.

Be Safe
No strings attached sex can be fun, but it can be risky too. Always make sure you have protection with you. Even if birth control is being used, condoms are still necessary. Don’t be afraid to have a conversation about your sexual partners as well.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Swinging on Wikipedia

Swinging or (rarely) partner swapping is a non-monogamous behavior, in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity.[1] Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from spontaneous sexual activity at informal gatherings of friends to planned regular social meetings to "hooking up" with like-minded people at a swingers' club. It can also involve Internet-based swinger social networking services online.

The phenomenon of swinging, or at least its wider discussion and practice, is regarded by some as arising from the upsurge in sexual activity during the sexual revolution of the 1960s, made possible by the invention of the contraceptive pill and the emergence of treatments for many of the sexually transmitted diseases that were known at that time.

The swinger community is sometimes referred to as "the lifestyle", or as "the alternative lifestyle".[2] The term "swinging" has largely replaced the older term wife swapping which has been criticized for being androcentric, for presuming that the partners are a married heterosexual couple, and for presuming that it is the male who is in control of the sexual activities. Additionally, the term "wife swapping" or "partner swapping" is criticized for not accurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which both singles or couples may engage,[3] which is not limited to conventional sex with a person other than their regular sex partner.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Single Females in Swinging Communities

While most people assume that a swinging community is largely made up of couples and single men, there are plenty of single women too. Single women have an advantage when it comes to swinging since they are welcome at almost all events, and usually can get in free of charge. If you are looking at swinging and are a single female, here are a few good things to know.

Activities
If you are looking at swinging as a single lady there are a few things you should understand. You will probably be asked to join in threesomes where the man can watch female on female action more than anything. Most couples who are looking for a single woman to play with want bisexual or lesbian encounters. If this isn’t your cup of tea, be very clear about it up front. You may also be asked to have sex with a man while the wife watches. This isn’t as common, but when it comes to swinging, anything is possible.

Club Events
As mentioned earlier, most single women are admitted to swingers club events for free or for a very low cost. This helps to even things out. Since bisexual and lesbian play is one of the most common fantasies among swinging couples, the clubs want to have as many single women available as possible. You can also find other types of events that are popular for single women, such as greedy girl parties and gangbang parties.

How to Begin Looking For a Threesome

If you are interested in looking for a threesome, then you need to know how to begin. There are a lot of different people that love to have threesomes. You just need to figure out what type of threesome you want to have. Whether you want two women and a man or two men and a woman or three men or three women is something that you will need to figure out. There are a few other things that you will need to prepare for as well.

As a Couple
If you are a couple that is looking to add a person to your bedroom, then you need to figure out what type of person you want. Some people will go with a friend or somebody that they at least know. This could create some tension later on so a lot of people will go with a stranger. This can be fun and sexy as long as you can trust that the stranger is going to be able to give you a good time.

As a Single
If you are a single that is looking for people to add to your threesome then figure out if you want a couple or two more singles to join in. If you go with a couple, then you will more than likely have to follow their rules and lose some control. However, if you go with two other strangers, then the rules will more than likely be a little bit more relaxed.

Looking Online
It is best to look online whenever you are looking for people to have a threesome with.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Setting Boundaries and Being Open Before Deciding To Swing

Swinging is not a lifestyle that should be jumped in to without consideration. It requires a lot of work and discipline to make it work. There are several very important aspects you should consider before you decide to swing.

Setting Boundaries
This is the single most important step before swinging is setting the boundaries. These will serve as a list of rules that you and your partner must follow to maintain the relationship. The reason this is important is because without this you don’t know what your partner is going to be okay with and what they will get upset about. It’s too difficult to pull away in the heat of the moment and constantly ask if it’s okay. Many couples choose to just watch or participate with one other person in the beginning. You need to know what turns you on, and what will make you jealous and feel betrayed. The boundaries and rules will evolve over time, and this ok.

Decide on the Type of Swinging
Another important aspect when it comes to setting boundaries is to figure out what type of swinging you are interested in. There are people who will only play for others to watch. Soft swingers will only have sex with one another, but may be okay with others having sex in the same area. A soft swap means that the partners are allowed to play with other couples, but without penetration. Decide what kind of actives interest you and set the rules from there.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Experimenting With a Swingers Lifestyle

Getting involved in a swinger’s lifestyle can be exciting. For many couples it gets talked about as a fantasy, but moving forward can be frightening. You don’t have to jump right in to a packed club to try out the lifestyle. If you are interested in this type of lifestyle here are a few ways you can play around with the idea.

Finding a Third
One way to experiment with the lifestyle is to start with a threesome. If you find a third you can get a good idea of what kind of jealousy and other issues may arise. It will also be a good way to gauge your interests to see how much more you want to play. If you find you would rather watch your partner, then you may enjoy more voyeuristic activities.

Understanding the Lifestyle
Before you decide to start making a regular appearance at the swingers clubs, you should spend some time researching the lifestyle. You can find forums for swingers that are open to new swingers. These forums are a great way to get an idea of what does and doesn’t happen at a club, and how to deal with issues that may come up. It will also be a good way to see what kind of rules each couple has and how they stick to them. Having rules within your relationship when it comes to swinging will be vital if you want to maintain a healthy relationship at the end of the night. If you have questions, most swingers on forums are going to be more than happy to answer them for you.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Ups And Downs of an Open Marriage

There are plenty of ups and downs when it comes to an open marriage. You will find that when it comes down to it, it is not for everybody. No couple is going to be able to deal with the downs and benefit from the ups of open marriage. Here are a few of the more important issues that go along with it.

Dealing with Jealousy
Jealousy is going to be a really big issue with an open marriage. You are going to have to accept the face that your partner is going to be with other people sexually. These people may be more attractive than you and they may be better than you in bed. This can truly eat away at a lot of people.

Having Trust
Trust is a really big issue that has to be had with open marriages. You have to make sure that you know that you can trust your partner and they you. Usually, with open marriages you will end up needing to be honest with your partner and let them meet your other partners. This can help to keep trust in the relationship.

Spicing Things Up
One of the big advantages to an open marriage is that it will spice things up. Even the previously mentioned jealousy can help your relationship. You will not only feel the need to compete with other people for your partner. You will have a lot less of a chance of taking them for granted. This can keep your marriage lasting a lot longer.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Finding a Female to Partner You at a Swinging Party

It can be a hassle to find a female to partner you at a swinging party. It is common that swinging parties will only welcome couples or you may just not like the idea of going by yourself. Whatever the case may be you will find that whenever you get somebody to come along with you, you can have a lot more fun.

Regular Partner
It is a good idea for you to know what type of partner you are looking for. If you are looking for a person to regularly attend parties with you, then make sure that you let them know that. This is something that is going to come up later. You may want to simply see how it goes, tell them that you would like for it to be a regular thing if you hit it off.

One Time Partner
Some people are only looking for a person to come with them one time for just one party. If this is what you are looking for, then make sure that you let them know ahead of time so that they are prepared to not be invited again.

Where to Look
It is usually best if you go online to find people that will partner with you at parties. You will be able to find a lot of different types of swingers that you can hook up with on swinging sites. Just be sure that you let them know what you are looking for as there are a lot of different options in the swinging world.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Great Tips for New Couples Seeking Other Swinger Couples

There are a lot of great tips for new couples that are seeking other swinging couples. If you happen to be a new swinging couple that is looking for other swingers that you can meet up with, then it is a good idea to figure out a few things first. You will find that the more that you know about yourself and your partner the better off you will be.

Find Your Type
Every couple has a type. It may not even be about looks but about sexual techniques. You will find that the more people you swing with the more of a type that you will develop. It is a good idea to try swingers outside of your type just in case you are able to find new people to add to your type.

Establish Rules and Boundaries
Every couple will usually start off with rules and boundaries. You and your partner will need to establish them with each other and then with your potential partners. It is a good idea to find swinging couples that are understand and are willing to work with you and your partner so that everybody is comfortable.

Where to Look
There are a few different places where you can find fellow swingers. You can look online at local swinger’s sites for people that may be a good match. You can also check out the nearest swingers club for fellow couples. If you happen to already know some swingers, then get invited to a meeting and get yourself established in your local swinger community.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Advice for Young Couples That Are New To Swinging

There is a lot of advice for young couples that are new to swinging. You will find that if you and your partner are considering trying out swinging, then you will need to understand a few things. If you jump right in without understanding swinging and how swingers go about swinging, then you will end up more than likely having a bad experience.

Start Slow
It is a really good idea for you and your partner to start off slow. You may just want to have sex with other people in the room. This can get you warmed up to the idea of having strangers around while you are having sex. From there you can see how you feel whenever your partner begins to kiss and pet the other people in the room.

Have Rules
It is usually a good idea to start out with some rules. Some couples will keep these rules while others will drop them once they are more used to swinging and all that it entails. Usually, the rules can be that there is no kissing, or that there is only kissing. They may not allow oral or only oral. Some couples will not allow their partners to climax with the people that they are with.

Be Honest
Not only should you be honest with your partner but with other swingers as well. You will find that a lot of the time, when you are nervous you will just need to tell the other swingers that you are new to swinging.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Common Fetishes in Swinging

When it comes to swinging, there are a few different common fetishes that go along with it. It is a good idea for you to know what all is popular in swinging so that you can be prepared for it whenever you begin. If you happen to have a certain fetish and are a swinger, then it is a good idea to try to find swingers that have similar interests.

BDSM Popularity
BDSM stands for “bondage, domination, sadism and masochism”. This is something that is for people that like the idea of having sexual slaves or being slaves. People that like to be bound during sex are often into BDSM. This can be something as simple as being tied up in bed to having bondage wheels. It all comes down to what you want and what your partner wants. Some people can really go all out with BDSM.

What DP Is
DP is very popular in the swinging community. It stands for “double penetration”. It can be either two men on one woman or one man with one woman and one sex toy. A lot of women have this fantasy and will often want to have men of a specific ethnicity or build be a part of the fantasy.

Bukkake Parties
Bukkake parties will often be where a woman will lie on a floor where several men will ejaculate on her. A lot of swingers will enjoy taking part in these types of parties to the point where swingers clubs will often have bukkake nights.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Getting your Wife to Swing. (A Female’s Perspective)

Are you interested in Swinging, but aren’t sure how to approach your wife about trying it?

This is an extremely delicate matter, so it’s best to approach your wife by putting yourself in her shoes.  Go into the conversation hoping to succeed in your efforts, but do not get upset or frustrated at your woman if she is not interested right away. Opening her mind to the idea of swinging is the first step in the process. Once she’s had a chance to think on it she’ll likely come to you with questions and intrigue. If this is not the outcome of your conversation be prepared for her to wonder if you will be unfaithful. Understanding what swinging really means may set her mind, and heart, at ease from this concern. Swinging promotes monogamy in the love between both partners, but opens the sexual activity up to others outside the relationship.

There are many ways swinging can enhance and improve a relationship, but first you must evaluate if your relationship is strong enough already to support being in the lifestyle. Swinging is not a fix for a bad relationship and will in fact destroy it. So be aware of the pros and cons of introducing swinging into your relationship.

PRO: Swinging can bring a couple closer together. Swinging involves a high degree of communication between both partners. You should constantly be checking in with each other and staying connected. Every experience is different and comfort levels can wax and wane. Stay involved in your partner’s activities (even when not physically involved). Make certain she is enjoying herself and has control of the situation.

CON: Swinging involves a high degree of communication. If you and your wife are not already use to communicating this much, swinging will pose an issue for you. Forcing involvement can make her feel smothered and as though you are trying to control her. This type of connection must be natural and flow effortlessly.

PRO: You may notice your trust and honesty reach new levels, rediscover why you fell in love with each other and find a greater sense of pleasure in the bedroom.

CON: In the beginning there may be jealousy issues to overcome. This can be tough for anyone, but remember to continue communicating, and always be considerate and understanding if your wife feels this way. In your own ways, reassure her fears and take things slowly. Let her take the lead, and dictate the speed at which you proceed.

PRO: You may discover new sexual experiences and techniques that you both can use in your own bedroom. Opening your sexual activity up to other people will certainly introduce you to new ideas and techniques you’ve never experienced before. This is an opportunity for you to find new and exciting ways of pleasuring each other during your own playtime.

CON: You may discover you are not as interested in swinging as you’d originally thought, but your wife is! The lifestyle is such that women are truly in control of the whole ballgame. Generally, women have the final say on whom you play with, when you play and what you do with your playmates. So be careful what you wish for!

Make sure this process is a give and take. Discuss openly your desires and interests and find out if she has any unfulfilled fantasies. Agree to satisfy her sexual curiosities in exchange, and that it would be your pleasure to do so. Be open-minded! If she is willing to open up to you then be supportive, not judgmental. Consider that what you’re asking her for may be a bit out of her comfort zone just as her fantasies may be outside of yours.

Setting rules and boundaries is imperative for all swingers. Determine prior to any activity what you are both interested in, what potential playmates you may be looking for and how you’d like to find and meet other swingers.

There are many ways to find and meet other swingers with similar interests. Swing publications have all but become a thing of the past, as swinger sites are becoming a popular choice for locating like-minded swingers. On Muah.com, you can set up a free profile and instantly begin searching through thousands of swingers based on niche criteria. Here you can also find local events and parties, chat with other members in the live video chat room and talk to other swingers that are always happy to share their stories or give advice to newbies. Local swing clubs or organizations are another great way to get involved in the lifestyle and meet other swingers. Most clubs will host private parties or events, however the price of admission may be steep for first-timers. Also consider the type of event as on-premise clubs and parties will involve sex on-site, albeit in a private or semi-private room. Ascertain whether or not your wife is ready for this because the initial shock could set her back. Predominantly, swinger parties are off-premise (no sex on-site) and are a wonder catalyst for socializing and meeting new friends. They are no-pressure, fun events and most swingers will tell you the social aspects of being in the lifestyle is equally as rewarding as the sexual pleasures.

Make sure she is involved in the search for potential playmates and in planning your “first date.” Nudge her to take the reigns and direct you to couples, or singles, she may be interested in. Introduce her to the scenario you are interested in by watching pornos together, perhaps of threesomes, gangbangs or group sex. This will get her initial shock of the unexpected out of the way, and it’s likely she’ll be able to visualize herself in a similar scenario. Another way of  “testing the waters” is to take a vacation to an adult resort, such as Desire or Hedonism. There you can both relax; sit frozen drinks and lay around in the sun (with little to no clothing) in a sexually charged environment. Here you have the potential for something to happen without the pressure or obligation….and hey, who couldn’t use a tropical vacation! Again, be sure she is 100% aware of what to expect!

However you and your wife decide to explore the lifestyle, always remember to keep your relationship first and foremost. She may not warm up to swinging all at one, so be patient with your wife, and don’t force the lifestyle. Half the fun is starting out and talking about your desires with each other, and if you find that swinging isn’t for you at least you’ve opened the door to other fantasies you can explore together.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Enhancing Your Relationship as a Couple by Swinging

Many people assume that swinging is a deviant activity that only unhealthy couples participate in. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Swinging can only be pulled off by healthy, secure couples who have excellent communication skills. It can greatly enhance your current relationship. Here’s how.

Communication Skills
In order to be successful at swinging you must be able to communicate with your partner. Couples that aren’t great at this art won’t make it far as swingers. You have to be able to come up with rules, be open with one another about what is a turn on and what isn’t, and be able to communicate while swinging to keep things going. Some couples have said that they became closer after a swinging experience because it opened these doors that weren’t previously realized beforehand.

Keeping It Fresh
No matter how great a lover your partner is, there is only so much that you can do with one another before things start to feel stale. Swinging couples have the luxury of adding new partners and new techniques to their bedroom without the fear of cheating or betraying their partner. This can increase the sensuality, and many people have said that the best sex they’ve had with their partner was after attending a swinger’s event. Once you’re with just your partner again, you can fantasize and relive the experiences while together, which will increase the sexual energy between the two people.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Genuine Couples Looking To Meet and Have Fun Together

Finding couples to hook up with for occasional fun doesn’t have to be difficult. If you don’t know where to start or what to look for it can be overwhelming. Here are some good tips to help you find other couples who are serious.

Paid Dating Sites
Anyone can set up a profile on a free dating site and just waste others time. Even if they don’t intend to be a time waster, if they are on the fence about meeting it can turn in to a time waster. It’s worth the money to set up an account on a paid dating site instead. Here people have to pay a membership fee they aren’t as interested in just chatting. When money is involved people tend to be more serious. You can find sites that have low membership rates and offer short term memberships just so you can build your contact list.

What to Look For
You want to find other couples who seem to know what they are talking about. If they are too green, they may not be genuine about hooking up. Online chat and phone chat can be great, but if that’s all that ever happens you will just be left feeling disappointed. Look for couples who start wanting to schedule meetings, even if it’s just coffee to get to know one another, after a few chats. Also look at the photos they post. If the photos seem too good to be true, they probably are. You need to look for people who are real, and the photos can be the best way to determine this. Swingers aren’t all going to look like supermodels, so remember to keep it real.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

How to Settle Your Nerves If You Are New To Swinging

There are a lot of ways to settle your nerves if you are new to swinging. If you happen to be nervous, then there is no way that you will be able to enjoy yourself while you are in the act. It is a good idea for you to make sure that you and your partner are able to be comfortable with each other so that you can enjoy yourselves.

Go Slow
It is important to not just rush into it. It can make your nerves a lot worse. Take things at your own pace and try not to allow yourself to feel rushed. Make sure that you aren’t afraid to tell another swinger that you need to slow down. If they don’t respect your wishes, then find somebody else.

Have a Drink
It may help for you to have a drink or two before you get started. While it is not recommended that you get completely drunk you may benefit from having enough to calm your nerves. People tend to loosen up after a drink. It may be in your best interest to consider doing this yourself.

Tell Your Partners
Let your partner or partners know that you are nervous and that you may need to take things slower than usual. Most swingers will respect this and want to help you to get through this nerve wracking time. Just make sure that you are honest and upfront with them so that they can understand your feelings. If you try to hide your nerves to your partners they will often think that you don’t like them or there is something wrong with you.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Advice for Coaxing a Partner into Swinging

There are a few different tips and advice for coaxing a partner into swinging. Whether you are an experienced swinger or new to it yourself it can be difficult to get your partner to want to jump on the bandwagon with you. It is a good idea to start slow and let them set up some boundaries first.

Start Slow
From bringing it up to having them try it the key is to start slow. You will need to start by casually bringing it up and then going from there. It is usually best if you allow it to sink in and see what your partner really thinks about it. If you spring it on them with no warning and want an answer right away the answer will almost always be “no”.

Establish Rules
It is a good idea to establish some rules and some boundaries. Talk it over with them and see what types of rules they would feel comfortable with and what rules would make them more comfortable. You will find that whenever you allow them to have some say in the matter they may warm up to the idea more.

Find Partners
It is important that they are there to help you find a partner for them to swing with. As a swinger you will find that the entire experience will rely a lot on whether or not you enjoy your partner. If you can find a swinger that your partner enjoys, then they will be a lot more likely to want to try it out.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

The Difference Between Polyamory & The Swing Lifestyle

Some people think that polyamory is the same thing as the swing lifestyle. Nothing could be farther from the truth. While there are some aspects that are similar between the two lifestyles, (learn more about swinging by clicking here), there are some clear differences which must be observed. Here is some more information pertaining to the major differences between the swing lifestyle, and that of a polyamorous person. 
 

A good swing lifestyle expert is hard to come by

The reason there is some confusion out there is that there are no experts in the field, except for myself. I saw one blogging website that deals with the swinging lifestyle, and the so-called expert on the site has an article discussing polyamory vs. swinging. There is no such word as polyamory, but if there were, its definition would involve multiple rooms to house weapons. When even the experts do not know what they are talking about, confusion is bound to proliferate. That is why you are lucky to have me. Let me break it down for you. Polyamory is defined as multiple (poly, the Greek word for several or many) lovers (amor, from the Latin word for love). As Wikipedia refers to it, Polyamory is the convention of being in more than one sexual relationship at a time, with the foreknowledge and approval of every one involved. Some polyamorous relationships also can involve polysexuality, which is attraction toward both genders. In the swinging lifestyle, sex with others is often regarded as more of a recreational aspect of their relationship. For those in a polyamorous lifestyle, they have complete relationships with multiple partners at the same time. All aspects of the relationship are participated in by all partners. 

Casual sex is not a part of swinging or polyamory

The-Difference-Between-Polyamory-&-The-Swing-Lifestyle-2 

Swingers are, by definition, in a relationship with one partner. They then take that one partner to a party or gathering of swingers, at which they swap partners. Most times, the partner with whom they are in a relationship is in the same room as the person having casual sex with someone else. The experience of free and open casual sex is shared between the partners in the relationship. For swingers, casual sex with some one else is usually a recreational part of their relationship. For the most part, though a swinger will have sex with other people at a swing party, a swinger’s relationship is regarded as monogamous. The whole experience of the couple comes into play when talking about a swinging lifestyle. In a polyamorous relationship, the experience is based more on the individual, and how they interact with others. One misconception is that casual sex is a part of both lifestyles. Neither form of relations is based on casual sex. In the polyamorous one, sex happens between people who are in a relationship, even if they are not exclusive to each other. ( learn how to have unattached sex) In the swinging lifestyle, sex with others is more of a celebration, rather than just casual sex, as much of it takes place at parties and gatherings of friends.

There is more to being polyamorous than you might think

 

Furthermore, the sexual intercourse between people in polyamorous relationships lasts much longer than sexual encounters do in the swinger lifestyle. Those in a polyamorous relationship have sex with the same people over a long period of time, typically weeks, months, or even years. In a swinging relationship, however, most sexual encounters with people other than the partner are very short lived. This time span is more akin to a few minutes to a few hours. Once the swinging gathering is over, sex with others ends, and sex returns to solely with the partner.

Ever since HBO’s hit series Big Love introduced America to the world of polygamy misconceptions have run wild. Now that you know the differences between a polyamorous relationship and the swinging lifestyle, you can accurately assess the relationship that you want to have. Neither is any better than the other morally. It all comes down to personal preference.
 

Saturday, November 30, 2013

8 Tips For Enjoying A Swingers’ Party With Your Wife

So your wife finally convinced you to go to one of them swingers’ parties, eh? Well, don’t worry, you can Tivo the game for later and don’t really have to worry about what you’re going to wear. To really enjoy the party, however, you’re going to have to follow a few simple tips. 

Like these:
When you first show up, your wife will no doubt be eager to get going with the first two dudes she sees, so you’ll be on your own from here on out. Play it cool; don’t just stand there masturbating.

Find two chicks who are making out on a couch and stand next them. They’re probably about to get up and go to a bedroom to get it on, leaving open valuable couch real estate. Now you got a seat – score!

Every once an awhile get up and peak in on your wife getting double banged by those dudes. It’s important to keep an eye on things.

Often times the host will put out some food – go ahead, help yourself to some sandwiches. Just be sure to pick out all the pubic hair before eating anything.

When your wife is done getting banged, she’ll probably be coming back into the living room looking for some more action. Try impressing her by pointing out what an awesome seat you managed to grab before she goes back into the room for another round of getting pounded.

If you find yourself in a conversation with a lady who seems like she may be interested in a little action with you, immediately propose to her.

Find the original two guys who banged your wife earlier in the night and talk to them a bit about their experience. For instance, in between her begging for more, did she happened to mention she noticed that you cleaned up the entire guest bathroom at home?

http://www.manosterone.com/2011/04/8-tips-for-enjoying-a-swingers%E2%80%99-party-with-your-wife/

Friday, November 29, 2013

Swingers: Inside the Secret World of Provocative Parties and Couples Who 'Swap'

Swingers, like polyester leisure suits, seemed to have their heyday in the '70s. But couples who openly swap partners for a night of passionate sex with strangers, are becoming a growing trend in a sort of new sexual relationship revolution -- and those who swing say the rest of us monogamists are missing out. 

"Nightline" went inside the top secret world of swingers -- as guests, not participants -- to a highly provocative masquerade party at a hotel in New York City hosted by a group called Behind Closed Doors.

Forget the notion that swingers parties are full of middle-aged folks who are bored stiff by years of marriage. Behind Closed Doors selects its members based on attractiveness and age. The younger the better, and not everyone makes the cut.

The couples said they don't find anything wrong with monogamy, but they were looking for something more exciting and raw.

"Our best sex is with each other," said Sara of Eatontown, N.J., who was at the party with her boyfriend Michael. "We have pretty amazing sex at home when we're alone. When we come here it's a physical attraction, not an emotional attraction."

Michael, a 28-year-old construction worker, and Sara, 24, who works in a doctor's office, have been in a committed relationship for more than a year but they do "full swaps," complete with intercourse, but they refuse to kiss strangers.

"Sex is more of a primal, more of an urge-based," Michael said. "The kissing is more intimate so we like to keep that for us."

National surveys suggest as many as 60 percent of marriages involve cheating. One study conducted by the University of Washington Center for the Study of Health and Risk Behaviors showed that in the last two decades, the number of unfaithful wives under the age of 30 increased by 20 percent and number of unfaithful husbands under 30 increased by 45 percent.

Yet every swinger "Nightline" spoke with said they have a cure for that. They said their relationships are more spicy, more honest and more secure because they swap partners.

"People that are of a certain degree of attractiveness are probably looking to interact and swap partners with other people that are a certain degree of attractiveness so they are a good-looking person," said Nicole Cray, a self-described swing school instructor for Behind Closed Doors. "If you're not a good-looking person, it's probably not the right party for you."

Janel and Stevens of Edgewater, N.J., are both in their 30s and have been together for nearly two years. She manages properties and Stevens is a disc jockey. When they attended Behind Closed Doors' party, they engaged in so-called "soft swapping."

"So we do not engage in penetration," she said. "It's a comfort level. We flirt, we hug, we kiss, but there's nothing much further than that."

Janel said swinging works for her and Stevens because it's something they can do together.

"Think about traditional relationships and how much cheating and lying and deceiving there is how much more disrespectful is it when you do it behind your partner's back," she said. "We're sharing something."

Swingers are part of a change that researchers have noted in younger couples' attitudes toward infidelity in recent years. Younger generations are marrying later, and come to the marriage with habits acquired over years of dating -- among them, sleeping with other partners after the initial attraction wears thin.

Sara and Michael, another couple at the Behind Closed Doors party, said they got into the swinging scene because of a Super Bowl bet they made with each other -- if the Patriots won, Sara earned a threesome with another guy, and if the Giants won, Michael got a threesome with another girl.

"Needless to say the Giants won and I had a week to come up with a girl, found a girl, had an awesome experience and ever since then, every weekend, we've been meeting other couples," Sara said. "We're not the jealous type, but we believe that 'sharing is caring.'"

It usually costs about $200 for a ticket to one of Behind Closed Doors' parties and there's an etiquette involved. Only single women or couples are allowed inside, but no men who are flying solo. 

"Women set the rules," said Nicole Cray of Behind Closed Doors. "Men can talk about what they want but women make the decision about what they want to do and don't want to do."

And women aren't just setting the rules, they are driving the explosive growth of the swinger culture on the Internet.

Five years ago, AdultFriendFinder.com, a website that helps swinging couples connect with other couples for a monthly fee, had 5.4 million swinger subscribers worldwide, and now the company said they have more than 10 million. Ryan Hunt, the community manager for the website, said the majority of the traffic to the site is coming from women.

"This is a new generation of swingers," Hunt said. "Usually people get into swinging between 35 and 50+ but we've seen people who are now more comfortable with being online and having kind of a more sex-positive attitude towards things that want to explore swinging at a younger age."

Another website, AshleyMadison.com, lists 14 million people in 22 countries who are looking to have extra-marital hook-ups. Behind Closed Doors also has a website, SchoolofSex.net, that serves as a social network for members to meet each other online.

But there is a reason why the Bible includes a commandment against coveting thy neighbor's wife -- we might be biologically hard-wired to have several sexual partners. Helen Fischer, an anthropologist who has studied sex and adultery for years, said she has lived in 42 countries and there is "not a culture in the world that is not adulterous."

"We are predisposed to eat meat. We are predisposed to fear when an animal is running towards us and we probably are predisposed towards adultery," she said.

Another couple who attended the Behind Closed Doors event was Cassie and Mike from Bristol, R.I. They have been married for four years, both have kids and successful careers -- Cassie runs a hair salon and Mike is a solutions engineer. They look like your next-door neighbors, but they spend the evening scoping out the room for strangers that seem approachable for sex.

"I think the best way to describe [swinging] is 'dating as a couple,'" Mike said. "We find it erotic to go out and meet people that have similar interests and similar sexuality."

"Just makes it hot," Cassie said. "Swinging is not love. I'm in love with my husband and it just enhances out sex collectively afterwards."

 "There's a lot of branches on the swinging tree, so you have to figure out which branch do you swing from," she added.


Thursday, November 28, 2013

Introducing a Guest into your Bedroom to Swing

Whenever you are introducing a guest into your bedroom to swing you are going to need to make sure that both you and your partner are prepared. This is something that can be a very sexy and fun experience as long as you both approach it in a way that is going to be healthy and fun. You need to be sure that both you and your partner are able to fully understand and be okay with the situation at hand. Don’t try to talk your partner into it if they are not willing. It can end up ruining your relationship if you don’t talk it out.

Boundaries
It is so important that you set boundaries. You and your partner need to talk about what you both feel comfortable doing and what you feel comfortable with the new guest doing. This is something that can end up making a situation a lot better. You will find that whenever you both talk it out and decide what is allowed and what is not you can still keep the trust alive. A lot of couples will have difficulty trusting each other after an experience like this unless they have some sort of boundaries.

You need to be sure that you tell the new guest these boundaries and that they understand them. Be forgiving if they slip up. It can be difficult in the heat of the moment to remember what rules you are supposed to follow. However, if you and your partner stand firm and stay with these boundaries and rules you will find that you can still be happy and intimate even when you are alone.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

When a Threesome with Another Swing Has Caused Jealously

If you have just had a threesome with another swinger and it has caused jealousy, then this is actually pretty common. A lot of swingers have had difficulty being able to feel comfortable whenever they have to share the person that they have sex with. Be it a partner or just a person that they occasionally sleep with it can be difficult. It is natural for people to become territorial with a person that they have slept with so be sure that you can keep your feelings and theirs in check.

Talk it Out
It is a good idea to talk it out with the jealous party. Talk to them alone. This is the best way for you to make them feel special and like you care. You can hear them out and try to explain to them why they should or shouldn’t feel that way. Just be sure that you are kind with them, even if you don’t know them very well. Jealousy is something that can be very painful and difficult to go through so the more compassionate you are the better.

Boundaries
It is a good idea for you to set boundaries. You will find that whenever you only do things with a certain person and nobody else that it can really help with jealousy. Whenever you allow your partner to have sex with other people, then it can take away from the specialness of your relationship. Whenever you have something that just the two of you do. it can really do wonders with these feelings that you will have.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Taking the Path Towards Swinging

Whenever you are taking the path towards swinging you are going to need to make sure that you don’t jump right in. It may be a good idea for you to just start slowly and go from there. Many people think that they can handle swinging only to find that it is not for them. Make sure that you know for sure if this is something that you can handle before you get too deep into it. Swinging can be a lot of fun if you know how to go about it.

Start Slow
Always make sure that you start slowly. Whether you are in a couple or single you should make sure that you let other people know that you are new to swinging. They will be a lot more forgiving of any nervousness that you are feeling and will more than likely be willing to help you through it. Don’t ever try to rush yourself whenever you are trying swinging out for the first time.

As a Couple
If you and your partner are interested in swinging, then it is a good idea for you to thoroughly discuss it. You both should be in it 100%. If one of you is just doing it for the sake of the other, then it will probably not work. You should set some ground rules to start out with and then go from there.  A lot of people will end up feeling more comfortable if they and their partner have boundaries when they are first getting started.

Monday, November 25, 2013

What to do When Swinging as a Threesome

When it comes to things that you can do when swinging as a threesome, you will need to make sure that you understand your options. A lot of people that are new to swinging and threesomes will end up getting nervous and awkward because they do not know what to do. You will find that this is something that can all be remedied as soon as you know how to go about having a good time.

Following the Lead
It is usually a good idea for you to follow the lead if you are new to all of this. You will find that whenever somebody else is more experienced you can simply follow their lead. This is a great way for you to feel more comfortable and start off slowly. You can go from there and end up having a really good time whenever you get yourself started slowly enough to understand what is going on.

Take Control
Sometimes taking control of the situation is something that can really end up helping you to have a good time. Think about what you want to do and simply do it. Chances are you have had sex before so just go about it like you normally would. Just try not to leave anybody out. You will find that taking charge can be just enough of an adrenaline boost to get you really into it.

Have Fun
Remember, this is supposed to be a fun and sexy experience. Don’t allow nerves or anything like that to get in the way of the fun that you should be having. A lot of people will end up freezing up and not having a good time because of nerves.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Girlfriend Wants to Attend an Orgy

If your girlfriend wants to attend an orgy, then you are going to need to make sure that you are both fully prepared for what to expect. A lot of people will end up freaking out at the last minute and not being able to participate. This is why it is a good idea for both you and your girlfriend to come together and talk it out so that you can both feel comfortable and have a good time whenever you attend the orgy.

Boundaries
It is usually a good idea for you both to set some boundaries with each other. You may want to tell her no oral and she may want to tell you that you can’t orgasm with anybody else. Whatever your rules or boundaries may be you will need to be sure that you can both follow and stick with these boundaries so that you can keep the trust.

Safety
Always be sure that you are both careful and that condoms are always used. Even if she is on birth control she can end up getting an STD if she does not use other forms of protection. Make sure that you can keep her safe and that you can keep yourself safe. Always bring condoms whenever you are going to an orgy. Even if you know that there will be some there.

Online
Go online to try to find where the hottest orgies are in your area. You will need to be sure that you know the area that you are going to and that you feel comfortable with the people that you are meeting.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

How to Identify Other Swingers

If you think that you may be in the presence of a swinger, then you will need to make sure that you know the different things that you can do to figure it out. A lot of people that are around other swingers typically don’t even know that they are. Many swingers will end up leading double lives because they do not want certain people knowing that they swing. This means that they are very good at pretending that they are not swingers at all.

Talk About It
If you happen to be having a conversation with people that you suspect are swingers, then you should casually bring up the subject. You will find that whenever you mention swinging if the people are actually swingers they will usually have a strong reaction to the subject being brought up. If they do not want to be found out, then they will often begin to fidget and act uncomfortable. Others may end up opening up and wanting to discuss it with you further. If you find the person getting uncomfortable, then drop the subject, chances are they are not going to tell you if they are.

Couples
If you happen to be talking to a couple that you suspect swings then pay attention to how they react to other couples. See if they both happen to check out people in the same way that a single person would. See if they approach or how they approach other couples. Couples that are swingers will usually want to swing with other couples.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

The Do’s and Don’ts of Swinging

How can you make sure nothing goes wrong when you swap partners while swinging? How can exchanging partners be good for the relationship? Find out about the do’s and don’ts of swingers right here.

Although the majority of swinging will end up involving lovemaking and getting frisky with each other’s partners, it isn’t all about just that. Swinging is about building up the atmosphere of warmth and belonging.

Whether you are at a party with another couple or with another person for a threesome, you will be having a great time eating, drinking and chatting. To get into the comfort zone, building camaraderie with someone is essential to get down on the knees later.

Swingers can differentiate between fun and friendship. The love and companionship provided by their existing relationship is bare and transparent. There are no rough edges anywhere and they make sure of that or there may be trouble.

Thus, though swingers may have many sexual relationships, only a single emotional relationship exists. Although close friendships are formed within the community, swingers often feel nothing is more important than their own partner. The friendships and companionship among swingers strengthen the primary stem of the relationship rather than damage it.

How can Swinging help your Relationship?
Swingers lay claim that lovemaking is more intimate because they are with a partner who encourages their fantasies. The partner is so confident that jealousy is not an issue. Swingers also vouch that swinging makes infidelity less likely, as they know they can have physical contact with others with their partner’s consent.

Various responses exist to those who object to swinging on the basis of faith. Many swingers feel their activities in their own homes or private clubs are not for others’ justification. Others believe that as long as they consider their relationships sacred, playing does not contradict the sanctity and is consistent with spiritual values. Two additional considerations should be made when it comes to swinging. The first is that the couple defines cheating. As long as the couple have a definition and stay within their boundaries, no cheating would occur. Secondly, some argue that adultery is incongruent with the original definition.

Another common response to moral and philosophical objections is that there is a difference between physical intimacy and love. Contradictorily, this is one of the objections that religious groups have, that this distinction should not exist, meaning both physical intimacy and love should be the same physical agenda.

The Do’s and Don’ts of Swinging
Be truthful and honest when you talk to your partner about your feelings. If you feel jealous of your partner, or have any other uncomfortable feelings about the whole sexual step, tell your partner. If you don’t, they will only come out later and be much more awkward and damaging.

Once you get to the swingers’ joint, be yourself and don’t pretend to be someone else. Being friendly, good-natured and exuding a warm aura has a positive effect on everyone. Leaving your inhibitions at home, both physical and social is a must as it can interfere with your swinging pleasure.

You can’t expect to get much out of a swingers’ party if you aren’t prepared to put much in. Stay close to your partner but not in a clingy way as it may ward off others from approaching either of you. Know your needs, interests and desires and let everyone know about them. Practice safe sex and don’t go beyond limits, even if you intend to try new things.

Are you ready to swap partners?

Don’t be Pushy
Invite someone you’re interested in, in a clean manner and leave the decision-making to them. Don’t ask them for reasons or explanations, even if it’s your partner. Don’t carry on your sweet talking to convince someone if they’ve declined. You’d only drive a nail through your relationship. Don’t overindulge in alcohol. Don’t take someone who isn’t interested and not informed, about the actual course of the night.

Don’t take a Ticket
Don’t take a ‘ticket’ to a swingers’ party (a ticket is the one who goes just to get you in and not to take part). Don’t disturb the swinging pleasures of others. Don’t be rude and try to cheat or lie. Don’t give personal details to anyone at the party if you aren’t comfortable. Don’t be vague about your desires. Don’t cross other people’s limits.

Are you sure about this?
Swinging isn’t for everyone. People need to discuss between themselves, the different factors including jealousy, self-esteem, or any relationship problems, prior to entering into the swinging lifestyle. If any of these areas are of major concern to either person, then chances are, you aren’t ready to enjoy the swinging lifestyle and all of its benefits.

Why are you swinging, really?
It is to be noted that swinging is to enhance your relationship, not to repair or rebuild it. A couple receptive to new and different sexual experiences will begin to explore different avenues of shared sexual fulfillment to continue to grow together. Couples who want to find a way to reconnect physically and emotionally are more likely to make it through a swingers’ party together.

It provides sexual variety, adventure, and the opportunity to live out fantasies as a couple without secrecy and deceit. But never ever join a swinging community and use that as an excuse to cheat on your partner.

Swinging, if done respectfully, can enhance your relationship by a mile. But then again, it is wicked ideas like these that make sentences like the next one appear. Do it if you want, stay away if you want, because indulgences like these really are to each their own!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

How to Start Swinging with your Partner

Interested in knowing more about swinging and the swingers lifestyle? Find out about the different types of couple swinging and everything else that you should know about how to start swinging  with your partner.

Do couples actually swing in real life? Why do couples swing in the first place?

As complex as our anatomical set up and mind, our nature, characteristics, lifestyle and social behaviors are unique phenomena too.

We have an insatiable appetite for at least one thing in life, be it food or intimacy, as examples.
Leaving food on the table, we stray into a familiar territory to take a dig on an act of physical intimacy. Intimacy is a term stretched to every direction and now it’s slanting towards swingers and couples that want to start swinging.

Swinging is a non-monogamous activity of physical intimacy treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple. It has a recreational perspective. Swingers indulge in intimate acts with someone other than one’s spouse/primary partner, with the full knowledge and consent of that person.

Swingers have been thriving since the beginning of recorded time. In the era of flower power, swinging was a very “in-thing” and among the most popular “culture”. It has had different social standings through time, of course! The phenomenon of swinging may be seen as part of the revolution of recent decades.

Swinging is like a sport for people who believe physical attraction is part of human nature and should be openly enjoyed by a committed or married couple.

Typically, swinging activities occur when a married or otherwise committed couple engages in carnal activities with another couple, multiple couples, or a single individual. The most common method is an adult male and female couple, meeting other pairs for lovemaking and physical intimacy, and sometimes ongoing intimate relationships. The activity may occur at a swing party, a couple-to-couple encounter, a liaison, or with a third person in a threesome.

How to start swinging – The different types of swinging couples
During these events, swingers acknowledge lovemaking as a game and participants as team-mates. There are few ground rules, but none etched in stone. The prominent carnal activities, but definitely not limited to, are several to mention, but a few of the most popular ones include:

Exhibitionism
It is the form of pleasure which involves making out with a partner while being watched by at least one other person.

Voyeurism
Watching others doing or performing the big bang. It is acceptable in the group event, but not in private areas.

Soft Swap
It involves kissing and stroking and the basics in blowing a guy or tickling a girl down south, with multiple partners. This can be indulged during the threesome, group romp, or while swapping partners.

Peak Swap
This is to have penetrative physical sex with someone other than one’s partner. The idea is almost the definition of swinging, but not necessarily the same.

Group Game
This term signifies the activities involving multiple players in the same lay-out. It usually defines a group of four or more people interacting physically. The most common is two couples, although it can be any gender of four or more people.

Ménage a Trios
Also known as threesomes, this is one of the most common methods of starting in the swinging lifestyle for beginners. A lot of couples will carry on with threesomes long after they become an integral part in swinging. In this, all three involved people interact with each other in bed.

Extreme Measures
These include things such as spanking, bondage, and water sports. The majority of these are very uncommon at most swingers’ parties unless the hosts have chosen a theme for the night, in which case you will be notified well before the night of the party.

Bi-Factor
People of the same gender interacting with each other sexually. This is much more common between women than men, but it doesn’t mean every woman will indulge in it. Bisexuality between men is extremely rare in the swinging community, and is usually frowned upon if not organized prior, and is usually preferred in a separate area.